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pictures of france
1 min read
whenever i see pictures people post of some random place in france on the internet.
you know, they didn't take it but they loved the work so they posted it, and maybe dreamed of going there someday...
it makes me a little sad and nostalgic.
i mean, i was there. I saw france..and i miss it.
weeks later and it seems like it was a dream.
it makes me a little sad because i wish i could go back
just as a lonely traveler.
I miss it...
you know, they didn't take it but they loved the work so they posted it, and maybe dreamed of going there someday...
it makes me a little sad and nostalgic.
i mean, i was there. I saw france..and i miss it.
weeks later and it seems like it was a dream.
it makes me a little sad because i wish i could go back
just as a lonely traveler.
I miss it...
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films to keep me company
2 min read
I watched two movies in the last couple of days that made me feel weird, but made me start to appreciate film again. I'm not going to say what these two movies were because I'm weird about that and if they wrong person find out what movies I watched, and talk about them, I will just get pissed off and hate the movie....anyway.
The first movie, I watched at like 2 in the morning and I kept telling myself I should just go to bed and I thought that maybe I would end up going to bed because the movie was probably going to suck...but it didn't. In fact, it was a probably one of the best movies I have seen in a while. I was so... intrigued by how original and sexy it was. It also took place in Paris so I was drawn to the nostalgic scenery. This movie was truly different and I know that I am one of the few who would appreciate it's beauty, and looked beyond the points that were made and empathize with each character and understand why the story was, what it was. Anyone else who would watch this movie would tell me how sick i was for enjoying it, because they didn't take in the meaning of it all.
The second one shared an actor from the first, and this one was little weird, but it was a nice film. It took some turns that I wasn't expecting, which is nice. Movie like that are always the best. you expect one thing and it turns into something more wonderful. I kept wishing I looked like the main character in the film, she was so beautiful. I also wished I had some aspects of her life in the film, just minus the boyfriend killing himself and the fact that she moved away from the man she was afraid to love. Oh god, I HATE it when people describe movies like that. "she ran away from the one she was afraid to love" when people describe movies, novels, TV shows like that it sounds like a big joke. And it's not...it's beautiful.
Both of these movies were french. I'm about to watch another french film which i'm sure will make me feel as different as the last two.
The first movie, I watched at like 2 in the morning and I kept telling myself I should just go to bed and I thought that maybe I would end up going to bed because the movie was probably going to suck...but it didn't. In fact, it was a probably one of the best movies I have seen in a while. I was so... intrigued by how original and sexy it was. It also took place in Paris so I was drawn to the nostalgic scenery. This movie was truly different and I know that I am one of the few who would appreciate it's beauty, and looked beyond the points that were made and empathize with each character and understand why the story was, what it was. Anyone else who would watch this movie would tell me how sick i was for enjoying it, because they didn't take in the meaning of it all.
The second one shared an actor from the first, and this one was little weird, but it was a nice film. It took some turns that I wasn't expecting, which is nice. Movie like that are always the best. you expect one thing and it turns into something more wonderful. I kept wishing I looked like the main character in the film, she was so beautiful. I also wished I had some aspects of her life in the film, just minus the boyfriend killing himself and the fact that she moved away from the man she was afraid to love. Oh god, I HATE it when people describe movies like that. "she ran away from the one she was afraid to love" when people describe movies, novels, TV shows like that it sounds like a big joke. And it's not...it's beautiful.
Both of these movies were french. I'm about to watch another french film which i'm sure will make me feel as different as the last two.
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a loss
4 min read
i'm having a loss of creativity. It came to me before france and i guess i left it there...
in other news, junior year is creeping up soon, and i want to kill everyone.
To be honest, the people I would much rather spend my time with graduated last year and the year before that.
now i am left with people who i pretend to be friends with and people i'm okay friends with.
some of them might have a higher rating, but summer has separated me from them for the most part.
so that makes me sad.
I feel distant a lot this summer, from my family, my friends, my cat.
I feel like i'm either letting people down or annoying them.
I want to get my permit, and get my summer homework done, and be happy.
This summer has been like two weeks for me. That's how long it feels like.
June went by like a mother fucker, July is almost gone, then august.
Everything I wanted to do hasn't been done.
I feel rushed, and busy, and well, kind of depressed.
I mean, I went to france and that was great, that was fucking awesome. i loved it there, I wanted so badly to come home though.
i should have stayed in france for a little longer, with a few select people and just had a fuckin blast,
I should have taken some chances and crossed boundaries, and you know, i did. Just not the ones I wanted to do.
my room is kind of a mess, i have allergies, my skin is breaking out.
It's just small things that gather on top of big things that make me a little more irritated.
As for big things, that goes under the category i mentioned early, I want to kill everyone.
I hate having to listen to people i don't like, talk about shit that no one cares about.
I hate having to go to every fucking meeting for this fucking trip. I'm sorry, but it's summer time and I have better things to do than be at everyone's beck and call. We are all determined to get things done and do what we are supposed to do to have this experience, but if one of us can't participate or make it to a meeting or whatever the fuck the situation is, don't make us feel like fucking assholes.
Another thing, and right now i'm just going to speak about one person, you are not fucking God's gift to Earth. You know what you are? you're a self absorbed, asshole, who thinks that you are better than anything else, and I KNOW you think that because you don't even try anymore. That's how fucking rude and ungrateful you are, you don't even try and you act like you are the leader of everything. In my phone, you are listed as asshole, which is appropriate considering YOU ARE ONE. I really hope someone socks it to you one of these days. And you know what I was thinking about the other day? just this one thought that made me feel so fucking happy? Oh my god, it made SO FUCKING happy. You wanna know what it was? You know, after high school, you'll be nothing. NOTHING. Do you realize that? It's going to tear you up but it's going to help me sleep at night. And that same thing doesn't just go for you, but for a lot of other people who are pissing me off right now. After high school, you all will honestly, and truly, be nothing.
in other news, junior year is creeping up soon, and i want to kill everyone.
To be honest, the people I would much rather spend my time with graduated last year and the year before that.
now i am left with people who i pretend to be friends with and people i'm okay friends with.
some of them might have a higher rating, but summer has separated me from them for the most part.
so that makes me sad.
I feel distant a lot this summer, from my family, my friends, my cat.
I feel like i'm either letting people down or annoying them.
I want to get my permit, and get my summer homework done, and be happy.
This summer has been like two weeks for me. That's how long it feels like.
June went by like a mother fucker, July is almost gone, then august.
Everything I wanted to do hasn't been done.
I feel rushed, and busy, and well, kind of depressed.
I mean, I went to france and that was great, that was fucking awesome. i loved it there, I wanted so badly to come home though.
i should have stayed in france for a little longer, with a few select people and just had a fuckin blast,
I should have taken some chances and crossed boundaries, and you know, i did. Just not the ones I wanted to do.
my room is kind of a mess, i have allergies, my skin is breaking out.
It's just small things that gather on top of big things that make me a little more irritated.
As for big things, that goes under the category i mentioned early, I want to kill everyone.
I hate having to listen to people i don't like, talk about shit that no one cares about.
I hate having to go to every fucking meeting for this fucking trip. I'm sorry, but it's summer time and I have better things to do than be at everyone's beck and call. We are all determined to get things done and do what we are supposed to do to have this experience, but if one of us can't participate or make it to a meeting or whatever the fuck the situation is, don't make us feel like fucking assholes.
Another thing, and right now i'm just going to speak about one person, you are not fucking God's gift to Earth. You know what you are? you're a self absorbed, asshole, who thinks that you are better than anything else, and I KNOW you think that because you don't even try anymore. That's how fucking rude and ungrateful you are, you don't even try and you act like you are the leader of everything. In my phone, you are listed as asshole, which is appropriate considering YOU ARE ONE. I really hope someone socks it to you one of these days. And you know what I was thinking about the other day? just this one thought that made me feel so fucking happy? Oh my god, it made SO FUCKING happy. You wanna know what it was? You know, after high school, you'll be nothing. NOTHING. Do you realize that? It's going to tear you up but it's going to help me sleep at night. And that same thing doesn't just go for you, but for a lot of other people who are pissing me off right now. After high school, you all will honestly, and truly, be nothing.
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tired.
1 min read
I'm tired of you.
I'm tired of you asking questions.
i'm tired of answering them.
i'm tired of your jokes.
i'm tired of your philosophical bullshit.
i'm tired of you telling me things.
i'm tired of you pitying yourself.
i'm tired of talking to you.
of looking at you.
of everything.
i'm tired of being tired.
I'm tired of you asking questions.
i'm tired of answering them.
i'm tired of your jokes.
i'm tired of your philosophical bullshit.
i'm tired of you telling me things.
i'm tired of you pitying yourself.
i'm tired of talking to you.
of looking at you.
of everything.
i'm tired of being tired.
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stupid...
1 min read
I did something I wasn't supposed to do, but I did it, and it wasn't even anything bad and what I found just messed with my mind and that is why I regret it. Questions are just running through my mind and it really made me check myself and the choices I was making. It made me realize the thing I needed to change. I am just so upset right now for a stupid reason...I just need to get my choices together.
fuck..
fuck..
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